Partly 1 of this article, I discussed relationships from the point of view of how people’s efforts resonated and how their energies damaged a marriage. I also discussed the things i call “Learning Relationships. ” Please see Part 1 for this information. Let’s continue with Part 2: How to Save a Relationship
Healing and Purpose-Specific Relationships
“Through Take pleasure in, thorns become roses,
White vinegar becomes sweet wine,
The stake becomes a thorn,
The reverse of good fortune seems good fortune,
A prison turns into a rose bower, “…
“The greatest healing remedy is friendship and love. inches
-Hubert H. Humphrey
“Until the Real Thing Comes Along”
Even though I’ve focused thus far on learning associations in which the malfunction or problematic resonates, I had like to add that in no way all relationships are learning relationships and, also, not all learning human relationships are difficult or distressing. Besides true soul partner relationships that almost all of all of us aspire to find and be involved in, there is also types of romantic relationships as well. Some of these other non-soul mate relationships may be pleasant, but have no a real “charge” to them, so that the people in them feel comfortable, but don’t feel inspired or really in love. The relationship may be pleasurable or comfortable and non-challenging, but may also feel bland. We have seen several clients in relationships similar to this and have found that there is usually a goal that this type of relationship serves.
One of the purposes for human relationships such as this is to realise a healing aspect or soothing or comforting experience for those involved in the relationship. Basically, one or both of the people involved may have been through an especially difficult or draining marriage or experience, or even a series of such relationships, and the pleasurable but bland relationship offers him/her the possibility to treat from the other relationship(s). This type of romance, the healing relationship, thus represents a relationship that affords R and Ur (rest and relaxation). This kind of gives those involved the possibility to be in an intimate relationship at the same time that they are healing from the money relationship or experience, alternatively than attempting to recover while alone.
I have further seen other positive relationships, which, even though they are still not the true, partner romance, serve the purpose of “introducing” a person to the qualities and characteristics of a good romantic relationship, while also allowing them to re-pattern his/her normal mode of relating. This might be the first positive marriage a person has at any time been in, and the situation allows the person to appreciate the mechanics of a healthy romantic relationship for the first time, while also sometimes increasing practice being in a good and non-dysfunctional close relating situation. Thus, re-patterning relationships such as this, even though they’re not with the real soul companion, serve as a device by which one can re-pattern his/her traditional (and often unhealthy) role in a relationship and can learn instead to play a healthier role and experience more positive characteristics.